Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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