I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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