You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
