I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
