yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i dont even know how to be here
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
