tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
