Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
