There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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