I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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