I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize