I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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