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i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize