3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
