toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
