Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize