i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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