That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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