I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
