I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
