i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
