how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
