oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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