kristin has been a bad kristin
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
