So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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