I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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