I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
