And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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