pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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