I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
