Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
