I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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