I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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