garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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