im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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