She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
