forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
