Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I CAN MOONWALK!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
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If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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