I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
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How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
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I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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