When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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