HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize