ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
