i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
