And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
