You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
