Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize