I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
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i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
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I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
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