So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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