these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
