Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
