Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
