i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Let's get the cat blown out
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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