Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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