haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
