How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
