ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
