i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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