I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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