I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
