Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So many bounce houses so little time
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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