Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
