He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize