I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
