i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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